Be Aware 
If you think that there is a dearth of resources for dads – you would be right, but try finding resources on grandfathers and their grandchildren, and chances are when you succeed it would be akin to finding the proverbial needle in in the haystack.
What a golden opportunity then, it is, to capture a grandfather’s influence in their grandchildren’s lives on our pages.
We have all heard the phrase, 'The only thing constant is change'. The remarkable thing about a grandchild's perspective of a granddad is that it can restore our faith in the fact that no matter how much things change over time, it is still possible for people even two generations removed to connect and richly contribute to each others' lives.
This Dads for Life story presents views from two grandchildren in very different stages of their lives. They reflect on how their grandfathers impact and enrich their lives and the way they see the world.
A granddad is a person who is loving and kind, and often he knows what you have on your mind. He’s someone who listens, suggests, and defends - A granddad can be one of your very best friends! He's proud of your triumphs, but when things go wrong, a granddad can be patient, helpful and strong. In all that you do, a granddad’s love plays a part - there’s always a place for him deep in your heart. And each year that passes, you’re even more glad, more grateful and proud just to call him your granddad!
~ Author Unknown ~
Kristina, 29.
Kristina is a second generation American of Chinese descent, who has been living in Singapore for six years. Her maternal grandfather was originally from Guangzhou. He had moved to San Francisco when he was a young man, and was eventually joined by his wife and daughter (Kristina's mother), in the new land.
On one occasion, Kristina's grandfather told her the story of his life in China and the early years in America. That particular conversation impressed upon her that he was from a very different culture. She also learnt a lot about the culture that her mother had grown up in, one that for many years she had found difficult to understand.
Kristina's grandfather was married at 18, and shortly after had two children. At that point, he decided to move his family to America. They had to overcome the fact that back then, it was illegal to emigrate from China, therefore the migration entailed some risk.
Upon his arrival in San Francisco, he noticed that there were no retailers for Chinese books and newspapers, and scraped together what little resources he could find to open the first bookstore that sold Chinese books in the Bay area. He imported his books through informal networks of friends, and the business turned out to be quite profitable.
He described how, on one occasion, he was looking through some English newspapers - he had taught himself some English, but was far more comfortable speaking Cantonese - when he saw some mysterious looking sections with numbers arranged in neat rows and columns. He asked a friend what those numbers meant, and was told that they were figures from the stock market.
There and then, he felt there was potential to make money in buying and selling stocks, and he decided to invest some of the profits from his book business in the stock market. Obviously, he did not have the necessary knowledge and understanding of the market, but his decision to put his money into some random stock picks eventually paid off quite well.
Shortly after, he told his wife about how his investments. She could not understand the purchases, and felt uncomfortable about investing in stocks. She expressed that it would be better to invest in something more tangible, like real estate.
Agreeing with her, he sold most of his stocks and used the funds to purchase properties. This was a fortuitous move, as shortly after, the stock market went into a period of great difficulties, and traders suffered heavy losses.
Kristina shares, "My grandfather isn't the most accessible man, but he has a presence, you could say. He is what you would call a traditional Chinaman, in the typical sense."
As such, hearing his stories, gave Kristina an deeper understanding and amazement at how he coped with the challenges of his early years, especially in trying to establish his family in a foreign land. It also helped Kristina appreciate her grandfather's way of relating to his family, because above all else, he clearly had to play the role of sole provider as his wife was often ill.
In addition, getting to know her grandfather, helped Kristina to better understand her mother, "Growing up in America, it must have been hard for my mother to grow up in a conservative environment at home, yet in a liberal one at school and in society," she said.
Junior, 8.
Stanley Junior is eight, and in his early years, from the age of two to six, he often stayed with his paternal grandparents in a four-room apartment in the Commonwealth area. Those formative years frequently spent with his grandparents meant that he had the chance to experience a close relationship with them.
Even now, when Junior visits, his grandfather always takes him out to the shops or parks to run around at playgrounds. His grandfather likes to tell him stories, and when they're sitting for a meal together, quite often its the same stories that 'Ye Ye' (grandfather in Chinese) likes to retell.
Junior's favorite story is about the time when Ye Ye was just in his early teens. Ye Ye was the only son in the family, and lived in a rented attap house with his sister and mother, while his father was a seaman and hardly at home with the family. When he was just 18, his father passed away.
In those days, gangsters were running rampant all over the island, and around Ye Ye's neighborhood, it was no different. He and his best friend, an only child named John, used to hang around together. They sometimes got into arguments with other youths, and were always on the losing end because they did not have any siblings to back them up.
One especially tough gangster who lived in their neighborhood, had to help his own mother with her streetside ice kacang business. He had to lug heavy buckets of red bean paste and other ingredients from their home to her stall. Ye Ye and John started to help out with the task of carrying the goods for the gangster's mother every morning, and Ye Ye knew that it could not be a bad thing to get on the good side of this neighborhood tough guy.
Sure enough, one day after a squabble with a thug, they found themselves confronted by a gang of boys wielding planks and home-made knives. Ye Ye and John did not have to run very far for help, and in no time, their gangster neighbour had a few of his own gang members surround the group. He told the group that if they touched Ye Ye, it would be like touching his own brothers.
We asked Junior what he learned from Ye Ye, when told a story about gangs and less savory characters as such. Junior said simply, "I learned that you have to make the right friends and be helpful to people. This will keep you out of trouble."
Somehow, we know that these stories could only have come from a granddad. It's an assuring thought.
About the Author: The Dads for Life Resource Team comprises local content writers and experts, including psychologists, counsellors, educators and social service professionals, dedicated to developing useful resources for dads.
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