Be Aware 
This month, as your kids prepare for their examinations, We have identified several tests specifically to give you a “Dad-gauge” and “Tune-up”.
Taking the test will bring an awareness of various aspects of fathering which you might not have thought about previously. That, in itself, is a good enough reason to try them out.
There are no “pass” or “fail” grades for these quizzes or assessments. Instead, they help you learn about how you view and act as a dad.
The Championship Fathering Profile
The Championship Fathering Profile, on National Center for Fathering’s (NCF) website www.fathers.com, is a good place to start. It takes only five to 15 minutes to respond to 43 statements about how you relate to your children and wife.
The Profile provides you with feedback on areas of your fathering under the headings of Loving, Coaching, and Modelling:
• Loving -responding to the emotional needs of your family members.
• Coaching -shaping, mentoring and empowering your child as he or she moves toward adulthood.Loving Your Kids — unconditional love communicated through action. It's time, talk and touch, laying a foundation for a child to grow and thrive. Your children need to know that you love them no matter what, simply because of who they are. Key behaviors include listening, encouraging, and affirming.
• Loving Your Wife / Child's Mother — honor and respect for her. If you're married, it means carrying out intentional, willful acts to show love and romance, and make the relationship a high priority. For divorced dads, it's still very important to respect her and cooperate with her. Together, dads and moms can form a great parenting team.
• Involvement — active participation in many aspects of your children's lives. Involved dads invest lots of time in their children, are active in their kids' education, enjoy playing together, and work on projects with each other. This coaching also includes healthy discipline and correction.
• Insight — awareness of your children's unique gifts, interests, challenges and vulnerabilities. You know their current needs as well as how those needs change over time and what changes may be coming in the months or years ahead. This is vital information to help you bring out the best in your children and help them achieve their dreams.
• Modelling -living with the awareness that your children are influenced by watching what you do just as much as (or even more than) by what you say.
Some pertinent and thought-provoking statements include:
• I know what motivates my child.
• My children know what to expect from me.
The results are merely a snapshot of who you are as a father at this point in time, and so NCF encourages you to take the tests periodically. You get a print-friendly version of results that you use as a record and reference.
Among the myriad online quizzes and profiles available, this NCF resource is possibly the one that will help you understand what makes you a great dad and what can help you get even better. It writes:Consistency — demonstrating predictability in your character and your behavior. "Walking the talk" helps give your children confidence and security to do their best. You are a steady presence in the family—providing emotional stability, confidence during crises, and a positive example of healthy, responsible manhood and fatherhood.
o Faith/Values — transmitting important principles and spiritual truths. For your children, this process is often more "caught" than "taught." Your kids watch you to determine whether your life philosophy really works. If you don't walk what you talk, they will definitely notice—and probably dismiss your approach. It's vital that you discuss and demonstrate the values that are important to you.
“There are some things that you do better than others—your strengths. Don't shortchange yourself. Don't say, "I have no strengths." Review your Profile and note your strengths; capitalize on your strengths.”
NCF goes a step further to include free online resources for each of the areas to be developed upon: Loving www.fathers.com/loving, Coaching www.fathers.com/coaching, and Modelling www.fathers.com/modeling.
One probable limitation is that a few of the questions try to capture the spiritual activities that fathers share with their kids. This may not be relevant to some families. Nonetheless, for the benefits alone, it is still worth spending some time to complete the Profile.
How “Plugged-in” are You to Your Child?
The Parent Coach Plan website carries useful quizzes to help you get clued-in on your child’s life. In How “Plugged-in” are You to Your Child? http://www.parentcoachplan.com/plugged.php, you can actually find out how "connected" you are to your child by doing the quiz with your child, then comparing your answers to his or hers.
The well thought-out questions have the potential to encourage good father-child interaction. Here are some:
• What is the last movie your child saw in the theater? What was his or her opinion of the movie?
• What is your child's most prized possession?
While you are on this website, have a look at Some Things to Ponder. It requires you to fill in the blanks and gets you thinking about how you parent.
Parenting Teens Quiz: How Well Do You Really Know Your Teen?
In About.com’s Parenting Teens Quiz: How Well Do You Really Know Your Teen?
, you will have to answer 25 questions, including:
• Do you know what is the best time of day for your teen?
• Do you know what is the worst time of day for your teen?
As you go from one question to the next, About.com provides you with links to articles and quizzes on related topics such as fathering, parenting, men’s health and what youths are concerned about.
While you are there, do some Daddy self-care by taking the Parenting Quiz: Do You Have a Case of Parental Burnout?
4. Which Movie Dad are You?
If the last recommended quiz on burnout sounds way too serious, hopefully the next one can tickle your “Father-funny-bone”.
The Which Movie Dad are You? quiz consists of 13 whimsical questions such as:
What the Dark Side means to me...
- A galaxy far, far away.
- Deep water, where the sun doesn't shine!
- Ignorance and prejudice are the darkest stains on mankind.
- The side of my shirt that's dirty and needs to be turned inside out.
After clicking on more than a dozen radio buttons for about five minutes, you will get your Movie Dads Profile, indicating the kind of role model you are.
If you are an Atticus Finch from To Kill a Mocking Bird, you: “take a stand, lead by example, and raise your children to keep their own counsel.”
You can also take the quiz to find out what a Darth Vader Dad does!
References:
1. About.com, Parenting Quiz: Do You Have a Case of Parental Burnout? http://parentingteens.about.com/library/sp/quiz/burnout/blburnoutquiz.htm retrieved 27 September 2011
2. About.com, Parenting Teens Quiz: How Well Do You Really Know Your Teen? http://parentingteens.about.com/library/sp/quiz/parenting/blknowyourteen_quiz.htm retrieved 27 September 2011
3. Which Movie Dad are You? http://just-for-mom.quiz.kaboose.com/63-which-movie-dad-are-you retrieved 27 September 2011
4. National Center for Fathering, The Championship Fathering Profile, http://www.fathers.com/content/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=55&Itemid=91 retrieved 27 September 2011
5. Parentcoachplan.com, How “Plugged-in” are You to Your Child? http://www.parentcoachplan.com/plugged.php retrieved 27 September 2011
6. Parentcoachplan.com, Some Things to Ponder http://www.parentcoachplan.com/ponder.php. retrieved 27 September 2011
About the Author: The Dads for Life Resource Team comprises local content writers and experts, including psychologists, counsellors, educators and social service professionals, dedicated to developing useful resources for dads.
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Your child’s academic performance is an indicator of how well they are coping with learning tasks and their learning environment. School examinations can be an ideal time to shape a child's perspective of learning, and build on their confidence and self-mastery. Learn to grow a love for learning rather than a fear of failure. |
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