Ordinary Dad?

“Small is beautiful” has become a norm of the past. Fatherhood in today’s culture has morphed into this Godzilla where “Bigger” and “Stronger” is certainly nicer and better. It is no longer ok to be just an ordinary dad.

You “need” to don the super-dad suit to stay afloat and survive. Better still, earn your stripes of credibility by working 24/7 in the office, and still remain unfazed and be readily available to check into the kids’ lives.

Dads today no longer fit into the shoes of just being the breadwinner in the house. They have to notch up their portfolio to include chauffeur service, school-parent volunteer, co-brokers in child rearing duties, life coach to the kids and still report to grueling office hours.

Throw in a few more desirable traits of staying buff and being attuned to the wife’s needs- you have the complete makings of a Sensitive New Age Metrosexual Dad.

Up Up and Away

It’s no wonder that dads are finding it hard to live up to the heroic moments of being a Super Dad. They have to swoop into every arena of family life, look good and keep the Key Performance Indicators at work, and still hope to stay atop of everything.

At best, they can cover most grounds on good days when the energy is high and the attitude is positive. Yet, we know that all Godzilla dads will have their “off days” when things can go awry and tempers fray.

The best way to soar with expectations is this: manage them well within your means and limits. You may feel that your "cool factor" with your kids is dependent on deciphering their mood swings and beating them at their game levels.

However, there are smarter ways to achieve that and still score in their awe-stricken daze of you as a super cool dad.

Be Slow to Jump in but Fast to Act

Talk about multi-tasking in a fast-paced world; Super Dads would do well to remember this- more is not necessarily best. The trick to being an involved dad is to be less reactive to life’s offerings and being proactive in sorting out priorities. Don’t settle for less by crowding your planner with time wasting habits that take you away from what’s truly important.

In practical terms, you need to log in less on Facebook and chuck out mindless gaming consoles, and be more proactive about spending real time relating with real people in your real family!

Avatars and friendly pokes aside, super dads need to be smarter in the way they stay tuned within their kids’ radar range. Quality time and intentional father-child bonding activities will not cut the grade if all they can get is an overstretched dad chugging along with them on half-tanked energy.

Kids cannot thrive with absentee fathers who appear only in the flesh but not in spirit. They need to hear your life perspectives, laugh alongside you and see you working hand-in-hand with their mum to make the home safe and happy.

This is the basic rubric to defining super dads where significance is measured- Just Be there.

Supersize Me to Where it Matters

If the prevailing culture seems to nudge you to rise up to the Sensitive New Age Metrosexual Dad challenge, take heart and know that it’s all about advertising power that plays to the tune of whims and wants. The majority vote in the fathering fraternity still buys into this tradition that real fatherhood is about valour, integrity and sincerity.

You can still opt to be supersized, but be wise to remember that anything that speaks less of your self-image and more of your committed care carries more weight and truth for your family. Genuine super dads can still soar above the trappings of fame if they stay focused on perfecting their fathering skills, rather than just donning a super hero suit to show that they have arrived!

About the Author: Chong Cheh Hoon is Senior Vice President with Focus on the Family Singapore (FOTFS). FOTFS is a local charity dedicated to helping families thrive. FOTFS aims to support every family with affordable and quality family life.