What’s My Identity?

I’m a busy guy.

I was a newspaper reporter for six years, before forming a freelance writing business in 2002. I’m a ghostwriter and editor for a few religious and political speakers.

I’ve just launched a second business, developing marketing tools for entrepreneurs. I am a first-term municipal councillor in Langley Township, B.C., serving 100,000 residents.

Now 31, I sit on Langley’s economic development commission and tourism strategy group. I’m a political blogger and the vice-president of a local political riding association.

I’m a newspaper columnist in a paper in the neighbouring town. I support a number of community and charitable causes. I’m a wedding solemniser who performs a dozen ceremonies a summer.
But none of that is as important to me as being a great husband, dad and friend.

I’ve been married to Jennifer for seven years. I have a brilliant four-year-old daughter named Indiana, and a beautiful six-month-old little girl named Danica. I have good friends and family who love me, no matter how I voted on the last budget proposal.

Is there a Magic Formula?

I’m not perfect at juggling all of these roles. I wish I had some sort of magic formula to keep all of these balls in the air at once. Some weeks I work too much. Other weeks I’m out too many nights.
But I have found five things that have helped keep me centred as I pursue family, faith, writing, work and politics.

• I take time out every day. I wake up half an hour earlier than I need to. If I spend 20 minutes at my local coffee shop, sipping my coffee and reading the newspaper, the rest of my day turns out to be far more productive than it normally would. Those 20 minutes prepare me for the day ahead. 

• I know my rhythm. I write much better in the mornings than in the afternoons. It’s just the way I’m wired – what takes me an hour after lunch takes just a few minutes before noon.

So I try not to make appointments in the morning. I’d rather chat with people in the afternoon and not squander my best writing time.

• I enjoy pilgrimages. When I get really stressed out, I have learned to stop everything, at least for a day. There is a beautiful Catholic abbey an hour from our house, so I will go there early in the morning and just rest in the peace and tranquility of the church and grounds.

It takes some time to wind down, but eventually I begin to feel my purpose and energy restored. Humans have gone on pilgrimages for hundreds of years for an important reason: they work.

• I hold my kids. A politician is never immune to criticism. Even the best policies are usually opposed by at least one-third of our constituents. But there is nothing like coming home, picking up a baby and seeing her smile at you.

In that instant, everything else melts away. All of the worries, anxiety, stress and criticism simply dissolve. My kids have been a huge gift to me.

• I’m accountable. In my life, accountability comes primarily in the form of Mrs. Bateman. Jenny is always supportive and encouraging, but never afraid to call me on anything. If she thinks I can do better, she tells me. She holds me to a standard higher than I might normally strive to meet.

And (please don’t tell her I said this) she’s usually right. She’s also gifted at training our daughters to call me to the same standard. Having a preschooler point out how many meetings I’ve been to in a week is a powerful reminder of what’s important in life.

I am also fortunate to have a network of friends and mentors, both political and spiritual, who keep an eye on me. These are men who have the same priorities I do – faith, family and public service.  

Priorities in Order

Life and leadership revolve around the ability to develop priorities and stick to them. When our priorities are in the right order, everything else falls into place.