When assessing our state of health, it is essential to look at our psychological condition. At the same time, our general well-being is equally affected by our physical and emotional state.

In part two of Dads and Health, consider the different factors at play in managing a balanced body and soul. Remember, your health habits will impact the health choices of your kids so make a point to plan these lifestyle considerations around your family.

Your Body –Your Physical Well-being

Get it right on three of the most significant issues affecting men’s physical health:

1. Sleep and Rest

Create a stable routine. Try to get to bed and wake up at the same time, clocking in six to eight hours of continuous sleep. Of course this is easier said than done when you have little ones below five years of age. But do what you can to prevent burn-out.

• Do not underestimate the value of regular sleep, even if it is insufficient. Snatch whatever rest you can get through the milk feeds and diaper changes.
• Plan for periods of rest. Create a schedule so that all your children’s caregivers can take turns to catch up with rest.
• Carve out regular time (weekly or monthly) for yourself. Practise self-care by creating space to slow down, stretch out and relax, or simply “chill”.

2. Diet and Exercise

In Healthy Dads, Healthy Kids, Dr William Marsiglio, a professor of sociology at the University of Florida, noted that fathers’ lack of exercise, poor eating, excessive drinking and smoking predicts the same behaviour among their adolescent children.

To prevent them from picking up these undesirable habits, check that you are a role-model for what you are telling your kids to do. For instance, you can reduce health risks and burdens by choosing healthful food. Or, create opportunities for family bonding by exercising together and sharing a sport.

• Have fun discovering new foods and activities that can make you stronger. Find out what is nutritious and try out fun recipes.
• Build up personal and family resistance to sickness. Get fit together by exercising.
• Lessen stress and financial strain from preventable health issues. Fresh air and healthful food help boost one’s immunity.

3. Prevention and Treatment

Go for health screening. Be open to advice and the need for treatment. If you are ready to give your car a tune-up from time to time, why not the “machine” you are racing ahead with in life?

• Have regular medical checkups. These help in early detection and successful treatment of diseases.
• Pay attention to your body's signals when they signal that something is amiss, even if it is not debilitating.
• Be aware of major health issues and risks, and how your body is changing over time.

Your Soul –Your Emotional Well-being

While it is difficult to define “soul care”, here it refers to paying attention to your inner self and emotional needs by successfully managing expectations placed on you by yourself and others.

1. Relating to Yourself

Try to appreciate yourself as and how you have grown in your role as a dad, otherwise fatherhood can become overwhelming. Also take time to reflect on the father-figures in your life and how they have influenced you.

• Keep a balanced view when evaluating your own efforts as a father. Be courageous to confront areas in which you need to improve, but do not be overly harsh on yourself.
• Take a Father Inventory to evaluate the similarities between your father and yourself to get a picture of his influence on you. Appreciate what was good and grow from there.
• Seek to learn from other fathers. Spend time with other families. Join a fathers’ network.

2. Relating to Your Wife

Learning to relate and meet your partner’s needs is a lifelong commitment, and it gets more complicated with the competing needs of children.

• Support your wife in her role as a mother. She is learning to be a mother, just as you are grappling with issues on fatherhood. Appreciate her and encourage her.
• Grow the relationship and carve out time with your wife. Whether it is 15 minutes every day after the children have gone to sleep, or a night-out once every two weeks, guard that time for her.
• Create space to work out your observations and concerns as parents. Both of you have unique perspectives about your children. Be open and share your views with one another.

3. Parents and In-laws

Your parents and in-laws are likely to be your most dependable partners in raising the children. Working together can lead to friction because of varying expectations, however with this can be eased with time spent in communication.

• Share your perspective on parenting. Even if your parents or parents-in-law do not fully agree with your approach, there is a high likelihood that they will do what they can to support you and your wife.
• Listen carefully to their opinion but seek to manage the roles and perspectives of all parties.
• Help your parents and in-laws connect with their grandchildren. Commit to having meals together regularly. Organise extended family gatherings and take the opportunity to celebrate family traditions when you can.

It is hard to work on all these aspects at a go, yet it is crucial to get started. Holistic health really is a lifestyle, but it is also a commitment to loving yourself and your family because they stand to benefit the most when you are able to enjoy them fully.

References:

1. Canfield, Ken (1996) The Heart of a Father,  Moody Press, USA, page 37

Also retrieved from http://books.google.com.sg/books?id=VwcVYEssa-0C&lpg=PP1&dq=father%20inventory%2Bken%20canfield%2Bthe%20heart%20of%20a%20father&pg=PA39#v=twopage&q&f=true on 27 Oct 2011

2. The Dads for Life Resource Team, (2010) Abstract of Healthy Dads, Healthy Kids retrieved 24 October 2011

3. Quote from Quotegarden retrieved 27 Oct 2011

Resources:

1. Health Promotion Board (HPB) is the main driver for national health promotion and disease prevention programmes. HPB implements programmes such as Physical Activity, National Smoking Control Programme, and Nutrition Programme.

2. Centre for Fathering (CFF) provides family-life education to parents at an early stage of their parenthood. Having a special focus on men, CFF majors on the need to support and equip fathers in their parenting roles.

3. Eagles Mediation and Counseling Centre (EMCC) provides mediation, counselling, as well as training and outreach services for individuals, families, schools and youths, and the community.

4. Men’s Health Network (MHN) is a United States-based non-profit organisation whose mission is to reach men, boys, and their families with health prevention messages and tools, screening programs, educational materials and advocacy opportunities.

5. People’s Association (PA) offers a wide range of programmes and services, as well as the rental of badminton courts and other facilities to cater to the needs and interests of Singaporeans from all walks of life.

6. SAFRA has a network of clubs to provide social, recreational, sports and educational facilities for NSmen and their families.

7. Singapore Sports Council (SSC) creates enjoyable sporting experiences for families as part of its efforts to cultivate a sporting culture.

About the Author: The Dads for Life Resource Team comprises local content writers and experts, including psychologists, counsellors, educators and social service professionals, dedicated to developing useful resources for dads.