Bright and early on Saturday, 20 November 2010, more than 800 foster parents and children turned up at the Singapore Zoo and were greeted by the sight and sounds of a party bursting with games and music.

Excited volunteers and children lining up for the entry.	"Are we starting yet?"

Finally, a chance for the children to explore, play games and have a good time.	Mrs Yu Foo Yee Shoon enjoys mingling with the volunteers and their children.

At the Pavilion by the Lake, the air was filled with excited chatter as children tried their hand at mini-basketball or target practice at one of many games booths. Others queued for candy floss, or stood still for their noses to be painted pink, cheeks adorned with the broad strokes of black whiskers.

Being in the presence of such excitement at the annual event was certainly a reminder of the priceless work of foster parents in opening their hearts and homes to provide a safe space for the foster children, who are for various reasons unable to be cared for by their biological parents.

This dedication of foster parents was praised by the Guest-of-Honour Mrs Yu-Foo Yee Shoon, Minister of State for the Ministry of Community Development. Acknowledging the difficulties of parenting, she thanked all the foster parents, describing them as "the reason that foster children are able to experience the joys of growing up in a caring and nurturing environment".

She also congratulated the 24 foster parents who received the Long Service Award, for having served between five and 25 years. In particular, she mentioned Mdm Lim Lian Tee who has cared for 15 foster children in 25 years, as well as as Mdm Khamsatun binte Suradi, who has cared for 22 foster children in 10 years.

Also a main attraction of the day was the launch of a special cookbook entitled Flavours of Fostering: Love Beyond Kinship, which features recipes and stories of 14 foster mothers and volunteers. In launching the cookbook, Mrs Yu-Foo praised the foster mothers and commented that a mother's love is often expressed through food.

The Importance of Discipline

Of course, fathers were not forgotten. Mrs Yu-Foo also spoke of the importance of fathers within the family and in nurturing their children.

This sentiment was echoed by Mr Subramaniam who described his role as a foster father. His wife was not familiar with how to firmly discipline a child, so he took on the role of strict parent to instil discipline. Nonetheless, he also emphasized that parenting was a shared responsibility which stemmed from love.

"I have learnt a lot from fostering," he said. His first foster child was 18 months old when he arrived at their home in 2003. Soon, Mr Subramaniam realised that he was hyperactive and had speech problems, requiring medication and therapy. "That was the first time I heard of these things!" he exclaimed.

In order to teach the child, and instil control and discipline, "I had to create a routine and structured timetable for him," he explained. "He used to roll on the floor," he recalled, "but now he will hold our hands to bring us across the road to take care of us," Mr Subramanian said proudly, of the now-10 year-old, whom is coping well with his behavioural and speech problems and doing fine in school.

Being Sensitive to Children's Emotional Needs

This role of fathers in disciplining and teaching the children was also the case for Mr Azman. He credited his work in a uniformed group to have given him insights into how to facilitate teamwork, time management and discipline.

Yet, in addition to discipline, he emphasized the importance of communication with the children to overcome any potential problems. With his wife, he attended courses conducted by the Ministry of Community Development, Youth and Sports to learn how to be sensitive to body language, how to provide for the children's emotional needs, and how to "talk positive to them".

"Some of them come from broken families, so we must work harder to support them with patience, communication and responsibility," he said. He was pleased that the children have grown and developed well with the help of these parenting techniques.

"They started out not knowing their A, B, C," he said, "but now they are very good, very intelligent, I am also impressed with them!" he smiled. "I hope he can succeed in school," he said, of his older foster child, who is entering Primary One next year.

Quality Time and Commitment

Mr Goon, a foster father of five years, felt that one of the key factors of parenting is commitment. The children "are not a football which I kick here, you kick there," he pointed out.

"It is a big commitment* - and he is committed to take care of the children for an indefinite period, until their biological parents are ready to care for them.

He also emphasised on the need for quality time with the children. This is why he is only taking care of two foster children, because he wanted to focus on "quality" parenting instead of "quantity".

"We need to spend a lot of time to focus on them and communicate our mutual expectations of each other," he said. He felt that this quality focus made him more aware of the children's unique personalities and abilities, and allowed him to treat his two foster children according to their individual needs.

Being Willing to Sacrifice

Of course, parenting is by no means easy.

Mr Suhairi described the initial difficult years caring for his two foster children, who are siblings. The younger one was a premature baby and would cry a lot at night, causing Mr Suhairi and his wife to lose sleep. He almost gave up then, he admitted. "Anyone who says it is easy is not telling the truth." he shared.

However, more than four years on, his desire to give the two siblings a stable home still motivates him to care for them to this day.

"Things are great now," he smiled. "They are well behaved and independent."

More Foster Parents Needed

In her speech, Mrs Yu-Foo stated that the number of foster children had increased, from 232 foster children in 2005, to about 320 foster children as of November 2010, which is a sizeable 39% rise in the number of foster children within the last five years. To deal with the increase in number of children who need foster homes, she hoped that "the stories [in the cookbook] will inspire many more families to come forward as foster parents."

Mr Goon sounded an equally passionate note, “You must have the heart and passion," he said. "You cannot give up on the children."

*The Fostering Scheme serves as an alternative care arrangement for children in need of a conducive home environment. It is a temporary arrangement until children under the scheme are ready to return to their natural families.

About the Author: The Dads for Life Resource Team comprises local content writers and experts, including psychologists, counsellors, educators and social service professionals, dedicated to developing useful resources for dads.

Also read:

1. The Fostering Scheme

2. Rosli Othman: Loves Being a Volunteer Foster Dad

3. Lim Yook Gweek: Foster Father Wins Over Hearts and Minds

4. Transform Lives Through Fostering

5. Channel News Asia ran a story mentioning the event: Higher allowances for foster parents from April