Source: DadsforLife

The keynote speaker for the event was Dr Josh McDowell, a bestselling author who has written or co-written more than 120 books since 1960, and has given over 24,000 talks in 118 countries. He has four children and three grandchildren.

He gave a few real-life examples of successful companies which place a premium value on family, or has family-friendly business policies.

He cited the example of John D. Rockefeller, founder of the Standard Oil Company, one of the largest oil companies in the United States in the late 19^th century. Before hiring someone, Rockefeller would put the potential employee through three ‘tests.’

One of the tests involved finding out how the person spends time with his family. Rockefeller gave this test, Dr McDowell said, because he had observed that “the happier a man is at home with his family, the more efficient he’ll be at work.”

Another example given by Dr McDowell was Chick-fil-A, the second-largest chicken-based fast-food chain in the United States (US). Unlike most fast-food chains, Chick-fil-A is closed on Sundays. Its founder, Truett Cathy, implemented this policy because he believed that its employees should have the opportunity to spend their Sundays with their families or in church.

This policy could be part of Chick-fil-A’s recipe for success – despite operating six days a week, Chick-fil-A is more successful than most fast-food chains which open seven days a week.

Dr McDowell also quoted some statistics which suggested the importance of a father’s love in a child’s life.

He said that US research shows that children who have good relationships with their fathers are less likely to use drugs, or drink alcohol, or be violent. For single-parent families headed by the mother, 30 per cent of the children used drugs, alcohol, or violence.

The figure for double-parent families with fair-to-poor father-child relationships was over 60 per cent, while that for double-parent families with good-to-excellent father-child relationships was less than 6 per cent.

Moreover, in a study commissioned by the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) in the US, after the Columbine High School shooting in 1999, it was found that a typical ‘classroom-avenger’ is a white, middle-class person whose father is absent or not involved in the person’s life.

Dr McDowell concluded his talk by sharing two essentials: affection and availability, which fathers should have to develop closer relationships with their children. Fathers should show affection to their children, verbally or through appropriate physical expressions like hugs and kisses.

However, he pointed out that affection alone is not enough. “If you’re not available,” he said, “it doesn’t matter how many times you say ‘I love you.’ It’ll backfire.” “[Your children] would rather have your presence than your presents,” he added.

With work commitments being a key challenge to most working fathers’ availability, DadsforLife spoke to two corporate leaders after the breakfast meeting, and asked about the corporate culture in their companies.

Mr Lum Choong Eu, Country Manager (Singapore & Indonesia) at MYOB Singapore, lets his staff members leave the office slightly earlier for family matters if they need to. “People will know when to give and take. If there are important company events, they’ll stay back for you,” he said.

He also observed that the work-life balance attitude is seen more often in MNCs. He recounted an incident in the MNC which he worked in, where there was a meeting and ‘Ben’ was the only one who had the answer to a problem that they were discussing, but Ben was on leave.

“I said, ‘Let’s call him.’ My manager said, ‘No, Ben’s on leave. Don’t call him.’ I was shocked,” Mr Lum said. That incident is a learning experience which he has brought with him to MYOB. As far as possible, he does not call his staff if they are on leave. “If necessary,” he said, “I will SMS them first ‘Can I call you?’”

There are also family-friendly policies at AXS. Mr Jeffrey Goh, Chief Operating Officer and Co-founder of AXS, said that it has policies which encourage work-life balance. It has flexible work arrangements like ‘flexi-hours,’ where staff can choose what time they start or finish work for the day, but the standard total number of hours worked in a day is not changed.

“We have these family-friendly policies,” explained Mr Goh, “because we also observe that if the [employee’s] family has problems, the employee can’t perform.” It is important for staff to have that “an xing” (peace of mind) to work, he added.

If anyone still has doubts that busy men in the workplace can still be good fathers, one can look to Dr McDowell himself as a role model. In the last five years, he has travelled an average of 300 days a year and writes about five books every year, but he continues to have close relationships with his family. As he said at the beginning of his sharing, what is most important is “the effort that you’re willing to put forth.”