Strong Families, Strong Organisations

Mr Low Yong Joo, head of Naval Logistics Command (NALCOM), one of the five principal ground commands that oversee the operational and support units of the Republic of Singapore Navy (RSN), firmly believes that it is vital for leaders of organisations to promote strong families.

According to Mr Low, it is challenging for fathers to focus fully on work, unless they are confident that all is well on the home front. He explains, “I sincerely doubt anyone can be effective on the job if the mind is filled with concerns and troubles of the family.”

With NALCOM responsible for the overall logistic readiness of RSN warships and small craft, it is crucial for the men to be on guard and fully focused at work. As such, it is not surprising that NALCOM would want to support the men in their role as fathers at home. In doing so, men will be empowered to be the protectors of the family, and to thrive as defenders of the nation.

Helming a 500-strong organisation, Mr Low recognises the Dads@Workplaces programme, which will be launched in 2011, as “…a good initiative to reach out to men in the RSN who are fathers.”

Dads@Workplaces is a Dads for Life initiative to encourage active fathering as part of an organisation’s culture. To achieve this, various schemes and activities can be implemented to inspire and educate men on the topic of fathering and on how to maintain work-life balance.

For example, organisations can choose to hold celebrations for new fathers. Alternatively, talks or workshops can be conducted for fathers and fathers-to-be. Organisations may want to introduce a “Kids at Work Day” so that the children can find out what their dads do at work.  In addition, organisations may allow for flexible work arrangements to facilitate increased father involvement at home.

Recognising that leaders need to be role models if they want to promote strong families in their organisations, Mr Low purports that the middle management and human resource personnel must first catch the vision for active fatherhood.

Keeping in Balance

An engineer by training, Mr Low maintains a good balance between work and life by ensuring that he plans sufficiently in all areas of life. He does so in order to complete tasks within a specified timeframe, saving time so that he can “…avoid…having to deal with the (same) matter another time unnecessarily.”

"By being efficient and effective, I have time to spend with my family,” says Mr Low.

Belonging to the same church, Mr Low, his wife, Shelly, and Kevin, their 16-year-old son also bond over spiritual and social activities with their faith community.

For fun, they “…hang out at cafés together to read and relax.” And, playing games on the Xbox is one of the father and son team’s favourite activities. “You should see us when we play Rockband and Fifa 11!” enthuses Mr Low.

For longer holidays, they take trips overseas, and enjoy looking through the photographs that Kevin so skillfully captures.

Mr Low is unabashedly proud of his son. “Kevin is a fine young man. He reads widely, has a good command of the English language and possesses a keen eye for photography. In addition, Kevin demonstrates strong leadership skills. In all, he has put these qualities into good use by actively serving in his church’s media team.”

At the same time, Mr Low, as a dad of a teen, appreciates that Kevin knows what he wants in life and has a tenacious streak about him. Mr Low says, “Kevin has a strong will. As such, he may come across as stubborn at times.” Nonetheless, that tenacity is twinned with some tenderness for Mr Low observes that Kevin “does express his love for his parents.”

When asked to ponder on what has been the best part about being a father, Mr Low answers, "It is to love my son and know that what I do makes a difference in his life -for the better of course.”

Key Challenges for Today’s Dads

As the head of his household and the leader of an organisation, Mr Low has also reflected on the key challenges facing today’s dads, like himself.

He shares, “To begin, dads may not be sufficiently aware of how much children need their fathers. Children look to their fathers for love and guidance. They need to talk to, play with, and simply spend time with their dads.”

Mr Low observes too, that dads may lack the necessary skills in, and knowledge on, how to be a father. “Unfortunately, there are also dads who show no interest in what their children are doing,” he remarks.

To overcome these challenges, Mr Low reads up and puts into practice the skills and knowledge gained from the information he conscientiously gathers.

“Essentially, I try to be there for Kevin and to show an interest in what’s happening in his life. I help him in his studies and drive him to school. We play football, board games and computer games together. I send texts via the handphone to show that I am thinking of him,” says Mr Low.

Mr Low acknowledges that fathering can be challenging, but he attributes his ability to navigate the ocean of fatherhood -whether in calm or turbulent waters- to the values he has developed over the years.

Staying Buoyant in the Ocean of Fatherhood

Being a dad has required Mr Low to surf various types of waves. Some waves have been fun, exciting and manageable. Other waves have been less so –the kind that threaten to knock one off his feet. But, at the end of the day, he has stayed buoyant, partly because of the strong bonds built over the years with Kevin.

“I’ll always remember lying next to him and sharing stories before he slept. In my mind, there’s a picture of him on the first day of primary school,” he recalls.

When Kevin was a toddler, they were already having many enjoyable times together. Once, at the tender age of three, Kevin acted as a newscaster, and read a book before him very clearly. The proud father captured every moment with his video camera.

The family spent some months in London when Kevin was five years old. One evening after some snowfall, the little boy went out to lie on the snow, flapping his legs and arms to create the shape of a butterfly.

On Halloween night, Kevin wanted to dress up as a ghost. “We cut holes in a white bed sheet for eyes and a mouth, and went round the estate in the cold to collect sweets,” says Mr Low with a laugh.

The family has also enjoyed a marvelous holiday in the Maldives where they swam and played football on the beach. “It was a great holiday,” says Mr Low.

The committed father shares candidly about the tougher times, “When Kevin was 14, I apologised to him after knowing that my words hurt his feelings.”

For Mr Low, the journey of fatherhood continues with its up and downs, but it is characterised by much joy, no less. “My son’s creativity continues to amaze me…Two days ago, he made a Youtube video for a competition. Nevertheless, to me, he is already a winner. And, I see many good things in the horizon for him,” concludes Mr Low.

 

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About the Author: The Dads for Life Resource Team comprises local content writers and experts, including psychologists, counsellors, educators and social service professionals, dedicated to developing useful resources for dads.

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