“Till today, I am deeply rooted to the firm belief that ‘children are the property of God’, hence we need to treasure and love them fully,” says Jack.

Jack spends precious time with his three daughters, aged 22, 20 and 13 years old, by sending them to work or school several mornings in the week. He also makes it a point to have dinner with the family on the weekends and to find time for quality chats with his daughters. Family vacations have also become a regular feature in his family’s calendar.

An eventful past helps him understand the importance of fatherhood

As he looks back at his past, his thoughts inevitably turn to regrets over the hurt he has caused his family. His troubled days had its roots when he first arrived in Singapore from Indonesia, as a 5-year old boy, sent by his father to pursue his education.  He was separated from his parents and made to stay with his aunt here in Singapore. His aunt’s husband was a sailor at that time and his frequent absence from home meant the lack of a father figure in much of Jack’s growing up years. This lack of male guidance and security led to Jack gradually turning to friends for support. Regrettably, it also meant a slow immersion in drugs.

Those troubled years of drug use turned him into an aggressive husband and an irresponsible father. His wife almost walked out of his life in 1998. That was when he finally made the decision to quit drugs through a rehabilitation programme at High Point Halfway House. Nonetheless, many struggles characterised the road to change, as he tried to start life afresh and to slowly win back his family’s trust.

Consequences of neglect to children

Jack recalls how his eldest daughter, Josephine, embarked on a rebellious phase that corresponded with his neglect of the family as a result of the drug use. This was a wake-up call for Jack. From this exeperience, he is fully convinced that the father plays an important role in the character development of a child, and that his absence was partly to blame for his daughter’s early difficulties. His experience in counselling the reformed drug addicts also helped him see the importance of a father’s role in the life of a youth. He attributes the problems the young drug addicts were facing largely to the absence of love and proper guidance in their lives.

“The love and devotion of fathers towards their children in today’s society would certainly help to shape a youngster’s character and his direction in life,” Jack emphasises. He firmly believes that a child looks to a father for moral strength and character development, more so given society’s current expectations for fathers to play the role of the head of a household.

Now a respected father that plays an important part in his family

His tireless efforts in mending his relationship with Josephine have certainly paid off. Now he is well-loved and respected by all his daughters.  Josephine speaks fondly of her father, “My father is now a family man and makes an effort to make up for lost time with us. Though the road of trying to make amends was not easy, my father never gave up and his perseverance has paid off.  Now, my father is someone that I can confide in and someone whom I respect.”

Investing in the next generation

Through his experience from his relationship with his father and his role of father to his daughters, Mr Koh has come to realise the impact a father can have on the generations following him. Just as the neglect by fathers will have its consequences, the investment of time and love by fathers will reap handsome rewards in the lives of the generation that comes after them.

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