Active Fathering

Managing Director of CISCO Singapore, Irving Tan, is the father of two - a 3-year-old girl who is very attached to Daddy and a 1 1/2-year-old boy. Tan himself had the benefit of growing up in a warm family environment since young and is thankful for those great memories of time with his own Dad.

"My father is a very quiet man, but, having said that, he was very involved in his children's lives. We had Family Night every Friday when we would play Monopoly together. Even now, he is a very involved grandfather to my kids. Taking the cue from him, it was natural for me to be an involved father when my turn came around."

Negotiating Transitions

Having said that, Irving did meet some obstacles initially - transitioning to become an involved father required a major career change.

"Previously, I was a management consultant who traveled 10 months out of 12 in a year. It was only after moving to CISCO that I can be home more often. My wife has to travel for work too; with my current schedule at least one of us can be in Singapore when the other is not," said Irving.

On how he feels as a Managing Director about fathers spending long hours in the office, Irving shares his thoughts,

"It is definitely not easy to make time for your family if your employer is not supportive. Employers should recognise that employees who have happy home lives are better able to be productive at work,” said Irving.

He adds, “I do realize there are times when one may experience difficulties at home and for such interim seasons, I advise my staff who work in teams to cover up for one another until the difficult season for the one person have passed.”

Maintaining Work-Life Balance

Irving has noticed that his foreign colleagues are better at managing their work-life balance than the Singaporean colleagues who prefer to stay in the office till late. “For me, I make sure that I leave the office by 7:30pm at the latest. I've noticed that even at this hour, I have to shoo a few other colleagues to leave,” he said.

Irving makes an effort to spend his evenings with his children. "Everyone I work with is aware that I'm offline from 8pm till 11pm which is when I'm fully immersed in being a Dad to my kids. At 11pm after I've read the bedtime stories and put my children to bed, I would log into the company's Virtual Private Network to be Managing Director to my colleagues again," said Irving.

Such a schedule probably means a lot less sleep for this Daddy, but as his daughter slumps her tired body over his shoulders to rest after a bout of jumping in the Bouncy Castle, every sacrifice becomes worthwhile.

 

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About the Author: The DadsforLife Resource Team comprises local content writers and experts, including psychologists, counsellors, educators and social service professionals, dedicated to developing useful resources for dads.

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