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Without Direction
Though David’s mum, a lab assistant, had tried to encourage him in his studies, he frequently played truant. At one point, she literally dragged him to school, only to have him scoot off soon after she had left. He struggled through secondary school; having to repeat the Secondary Three level twice, and eventually failed his N-levels.
David’s dad worked long hours as a security guard, and he would often return home late at night. As a result, father and son did not get to see or communicate much with each other. His dad also dealt a heavy hand when disciplining. David said, “For my every little mistake, there would be whipping, caning and beating. I grew up in fear, anger and hatred and even turned against my dad and tried to kill him with a knife in my teen years.”
Turning Point
The year 2000 was tumultuous for David, starting from the time he was rounded up for participating in a gang fight. He was sentenced to 18 months’ imprisonment and given six strokes of the cane. More significantly, he lost his best friend, who died in the clash. In 2002, he was imprisoned again for six years and received twelve strokes of the cane. This time, it was for fighting with the same gang member who had killed his best friend.
By providence, it was the second imprisonment that proved to be the turning point of David’s life. This was where he received help from prison counsellors and church workers. His newfound self-awareness and faith gave him a new identity, as well as the direction and passion to participate in life in a new, positive way.
He hit the textbooks, and set himself to work his way through the GCE ‘N’, ‘O’ and ‘A’-Level examinations while in prison. Armed with the certificates her son had earned, David’s mum successfully applied for his admission to Singapore Management University even before his release from incarceration.
Values Shape Life
Upon returning home, David drew upon his new beliefs and changed his attitude towards his father. “Things had taken a turn for the worse when my dad did not visit me during the six and a half years I was in prison. Not even once,” recalls David. But rather than hold a grudge, David chose to “to forgive him and love him even when he didn’t deserve it.”
“Things are better now, but communication is still something new for my conservative dad. So, I leave it as it is,” said David.
David is now an undergraduate majoring in Psychology. He is also an associate with Architects of Life, an organisation which mentors delinquent or at-risk youths. When asked what troubled teens need most from their fathers, David shares that the answer lies in the values that children are taught. Dads play a great role in teaching their children the right values and showing them by example, how to live out those values.
“Values are what shape a life. It is the compass to the path we walk, the decisions we make,” says David.
Videos on David King Thorairajan:
David’s interview on Okto (edited version).
A sneak peek into David’s past.
Architects of Life (AOL) reaches out to at-risk youths through programmes designed not just to manage their behaviour, but also to empower them to be leaders, moving them from being high-risk to high-yield individuals. In addition, AOL provides training to parents, schools and organisations on how to reach their youth.
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When dealing with delinquency, look beyond the behaviour. The action of at-risk teens can be highly distressing for dads, but it is really an indication of a deeper need and a cry for help that teens struggle to express. Do not give up, help find their niche in life. Have a thought or insight? Read more and talk on this Theme here! |
About the Author: The Dads for Life Resource Team comprises local content writers and experts, including psychologists, counsellors, educators and social service professionals, dedicated to developing useful resources for dads.
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