Writing on My Wedding Anniversary

Writing this article on my wedding anniversary gives me the opportunity to reflect on many things about being a husband and a dad.

I am married to Amy, my wife, for 15 years. We have three lovely children, Emmanuel, 12, Isaac, 8, and Gracia, 6. They each have very different personalities, and it manifests in their daily likes and dislikes.

Nonetheless, the basic life philosophy which guides the family and our daily living is our Christian faith. After my faith, the family is the most important to me. My activities are prioritised and scheduled around them. Amy is a great blessing. She supports me in my various endeavors.

Being a Dad – What's Most Satisfying?

Being a dad is the most exciting job one can have, as the world is shaped by people and not by things, monuments or structures, no matter how colossal these inanimate objects become. Therefore, what I find most satisfying about being a dad is the ability and authority to shape our children's lives.

It intrigues me that the world can be a better place or worse for it, by the way I parent my child as he will be part of the world that is to come. There is a link between what kind of father I am today and what the world could be in the future.

Being a Dad –What's Most Challenging?

The biggest challenge in being a dad was to not to bring baggage I had with my parents.

It is about how to see parenting afresh and not allow any past memories - good or bad - to cast a shadow on my present fathering methods. Each child is different and needs to be dealt with in a unique and fresh way.

Nevertheless, shedding one's past is sometimes more than just an intellectual exercise. It entails reflection, healing and restoration of the heart. This is an important first step for parents, as it will prevent us from projecting or passing on any undesired concepts, words, actions or habits on to the next generation.

My Christian faith has been instrumental in helping me in this area. Seeking wise counsel, through reading or talking to more experienced men has helped me immeasurably too.

In addition, it is critical to maintain a very strong marriage. A strong parental relationship conveys strength and stability at home which in turns give the children a healthy dose of security.

Also, parenting is like flying a kite. There are moments to let loose a little, and there are moments to pull back. The trick is to know when to do what and how much. Each father has to truly know his child in order to understand how to do it right.

The way to know one's child is to spend time together and there is no substitute for this at all. I have experienced several hard knocks in this area. Though I think knocks are inevitable, it is important to remember the cause and avoid repeating the knocks in future.

Being a Mentor - Professionally & Personally

I work for a French international environment services company, with dual responsibilities as Managing Director for Singapore and Chief Operations Officer for Southeast Asia. My work is very challenging due to its multifaceted nature and multicultural environment. There are new challenges and situations to deal with every day.

As the company hires about 330, 000 people worldwide, travelling is part of my job. At the same time however, the company also harnesses IT as much as possible to reduce travelling costs. On the family front, this arrangement is very favourable.

Whether professionally, or personally in my volunteer work, I am interested in developing people because I believe in what one can achieve when you convey in him a sense of confidence.

I serve as a district councilor in Northeast CDC and chair a committee which promotes father leadership and helps build healthy families in the community.

Being Me - What Beckons?

All men are men of destiny and passion. There is beckoning for men to know and then to respond to that call in their lives. The key is to pursue the call, otherwise time will pass by very quickly and age takes over us. The singe-minded focus by which the pursuit is made will lead him into his destiny.

 

Real-Life Mentoring

Mentoring Freddy

Freddy (not his real name) had a strong desire to be the best father in the world. The father of three worked very hard and thrived on a “need to provide for children’s future” mode.

His mantra in life? Make as much money as possible and ensure the children were financially taken care of in the future. While the intent was good, the execution was not. Quality family time and relationships were sacrificed.

The problem? His idea of the “future” to be provided for was an enlarging target; it will perpetually increase in size and not decrease. Talks to influence Freddy to look elsewhere, other than money to focus on more meaningfulness in life, yielded little.

We kept the relationship going and the seed of confidence that I am always there for him was sowed. It is tough because he had an un-teachable heart. What kept me going is my years of relating to this friend and also a basic belief that he wants to do good and just that the ways may need some tweaking.

Mentoring Joseph

Mentoring is about how one life impacts another. Oftentimes, it does not require much words or teaching. Rather, one observes how another is living and something is rubbed off on to him.

Seeing great potential in Joseph (not his real name), an up and coming executive, I assigned him new and challenging projects. My aim was to stretch him and train him to tolerate some amount of risk taking that naturally comes along in any unfamiliar territory.

Initially, he struggled and feared not being able to cope with new responsibilities. However, I conveyed to him  trust and belief in his ability. And this served as a springboard for him rise up to the next level.

I continued to watch Joseph from afar, but refrained from plunging in to help at every crisis as I felt that would convey a lack of confidence in his ability to manage. Rather, I only stepped in when he called upon me.

Each time he swam out of deep waters independently, he got an inch wiser. That is the aim of mentoring. Being able to see him continually push boundaries and become a more capable and complete person, gave me great satisfaction.

 

Submit your own dad story here and we will do our best to publish it.

---

About the Author: David Ang, 42, is Chief Operations Officer (Southeast Asia) and Managing Director (Singapore) in a French MNC. He and his wife, Amy, are parents to three children, Gracia, 6, Isaac 8, and Emmanuel, 12. David is also a grassroots leader and chairman of Fathers in Northeast (FiNE) Community Development Council (CDC).

We also had the chance to interview him during a 2011 Valentine Event, where he told us, “Strong leadership at home leads to strong families, strong societies and thus (a strong) nation.”

---

Back to Listing