In the recent DadsforLife Blog Contest, more than 600 students from primary to secondary school age openly shared their thoughts about their Dads. In their touching and heartfelt entries, it became obvious that:

1. Children need their fathers to express unconditional acceptance through time spent together.

“At times I frustrate everyone else with my curiosity to learn about the world but you’re patient with me. Thank you for always being there.” - Te’neille Sullivan from North View Primary School

“You don’t mind when I waste your time chatting with you, even when I’m talking nonsense. You’re always sitting beside me, listening to my rubbish attentively. Whenever I quarrel with you, you’ll be the first to apologize, first to admit that you’re wrong, hiding the fact that it was the mischievous me who irritated you.” - Jenny Yang Jing Nan from West Grove Primary School

“One of the school days this year, I had a headache and asked for early dismissal. When I saw my father walking towards the school office, tears trickled down my cheeks. Somehow, my emotions overcame me and I hugged him firmly. I felt a strong sense of security when I was with my father. He shouldered my school bag with his right arm and hugged me with his left arm. While walking home, he consoled me with kind and tender words which eased my headache. - Alexis Janelle Gan Zi Yan from Bedok Green Primary School

“Even though I never say it, I appreciate you being my camera crew these past 11 years with a video recorder in your hands and a camera in your pocket. The years of vacations are wonderful with snow and all, but what really makes them wonderful is seeing you beside me, enjoying it with me. - Wee Min from Nanyang Primary School

“You bought me a fishing rod for my birthday and on the first day I used it, you taught me how to throw the line, reel the line, check if the bait had a bite and how to put on my hook and line. On that very day, I caught a lot of fish and I’m not just happy about that, I’m happy that I got to spend time with you. It was one of the happiest days of my life, all because of you.” - Muhd Sharifuddin bin Kamis from Shuqun Secondary School

“Every night when I’m scared because I think there’s something living under my bed, you’re there to protect. You would sing me a lullaby and put me to sleep. Even though it was only half the song, I love most the moment with you.” - Nurin Qistina Binte Mohamad Ali from Zhenghua Primary School

“You have slept with me since young and not knowingly, we have built a strong bond. Your snoring sound may be annoying to mum and others but it is a sweet sound to me. Your presence beside me, with a short talk and holding of hands before we sleep every night, has given me a sense of security. I discovered that I had difficulty falling asleep when you came home late.” - Xavier Kwang from Radin Mas Primary School

“I really want to say you’re my Dad for life and I’m really happy when you spend time with me. They’re my most memorable times ever! Now, you’ve found a job and everything’s resumed to normal, I miss you because you come back very late.” - Rachel Cham Shi Hui from Seng Kang Primary School

“Although we don’t spend much time bonding, I just love him. He is a man who doesn’t know how to express his love for us in words. Through his actions, I can feel his love. And it just hurts me to see him working so hard just to bring us up. I hope that he will bring us out again soon.” - Phua Qin Hui from Orchid Park Secondary School

“I’ll always remember how you took me to Books Kinokuniya and just stood waiting for me as I searched for books. Even though I took hours, you waited for me and helped carry my books. I don’t think there is another Dad as patient as you. I’ve been busy with schoolwork and we hardly spend time together now. I’d really like to go out with you again because like how you always make time for me, I will always make time for you. - Tan Jia Hui from River Valley High School

“I enjoy the time when you try to recall or memorize all my best friends’ names. Thanks Daddy”- Lee Hui Xin from Pasir Ris Secondary School

“When you come home early from work, I can spend time with you, only the two of us. I love those times when we could just joke around and have fun watching TV. 15 years of bringing me up must have been hard but you made it look like a breeze. Chicken McNuggets you used to call it. I love you, Pa. Thank you for everything you have done for me.” - Farah Firzanah Muhamad Murshid from Pasir Ris Secondary School

2. Children miss their fathers when they’re away, and their fathers' absence deeply impacts children’s emotional well-being.

“While I will never forget the peacefulness of your face when you were in the coffin, I also want the whole world to know that you can never be replaced. I miss you terribly, dad. I love you lots and I wish you can hear me. - Monica Seah Jie Ling from Radin Mas Primary School

“When I was a child, you always carried me. When I was sick, when I cried, when I laughed, you always carried me. I’m the youngest and the most pampered one of all. You were the best Dad in the world. You’re funny, helpful, handsome, and you love me and sister very much.

Until one day, you went missing.

Since I was the youngest, I was not told anything until a lady came to our house and asked about you. Sister and I found out that you were already someone else’s husband. After a year, you came to visit us. We missed you a lot. We didn’t even get to celebrate Hari Raya and birthdays with you.

I’m so sad. Whenever I need you by my side, you’re always not around. How I wish you could see what I wrote. Until today even if I’m very sad, even if want to cry, there’re no more tears left.

I miss you very much and I hope you still remember us. Even though you’re no longer with us, I hope you still love us. I love you.” - Yani from Northlight School

3. Children whose fathers journey with them through multiple challenges grow resilience to overcome challenges

“Dad helps me with school work whenever I have difficulties solving problems or questions. He will say ‘Nothing ventured, nothing gained’. He lends me his ears and coaxes me whenever I pour out personal problems. He reminds me to ‘take the bull by its horn’. - Nur Naufal Bin Ismail from Bedok Green Primary School

“When I was seven, you told me to stand up for myself, have confidence, self-respect, be brave. Those words would change the later stages of my life. When I was eight or nine, my grades dropped and I was scared my friends would make fun of me but you told me to compete with my own marks rather than with other students’ marks. You told me that when I believe in myself, I will achieve great things. I proved to you and myself when I scored 100 marks for my Maths SA2 exam.

Recently, I wanted to be a level head but did not get the position. I thought I was no good. You told me not to shed tears as it will only hide another greater opportunity. After that, I did not take it as a fall but as a stepping stone.

You have helped me in more ways that I can count. I’m only listing a few. I understand that every step I take is your step. Every success of mine is your success. Even every failure of mine is your failure. I do not know what to say for what you have done but I will say something that may look simple but means a lot, “Thank you!”” - Sabariesh Ilankathir from North View Primary School

“You’re my mentor and personal trainer in every duathlon and triathlon race. You go the extra mile to train me in swimming after my usual Saturday lessons. You run next to me during our routine evening weekend run. You take extra measures to get safety gears for my cycling training. In fact, you’re the one who pack my stuff for every event and training. Without you I cannot and will not be able to fulfil my dream to be an excellent athlete or future Olympian. - Jullian Chng Jun En from Edgefield Primary School

“During the years in primary school, I got teased in school and had no friends. They all thought I was weird because I was a very creative person and did things no one expected I would do. My grades dropped and I always dreamed in class. I sunk into depression and started shoplifting to get sweets which I would eat in class instead of listening to the teacher teaching. I still don’t know why I started shoplifting but with your help, I stopped.

During those times you and I would stay in my bedroom and I would cry for hours telling you all my sorrows. Finally after you discussed the problem with my mother, I changed schools. You worked hard to get money for tuition in an effort to pull my grades back up. When times were hard, you always encouraged me and pushed me to persevere. You helped me cure my shoplifting habit by walking with me to school while I still had not transferred out.

You knew that I had a talent for art so you saved up and brought me to an art centre where the fees were two thousand dollars a year. Every time I go home after art class, you’re there and you would go through the art pieces and tell me how I could improve them.

I think that you are really smart and caring. You are the best a father can be next to GOD and you are awesome! You are fun in your own way and know how to relieve my stress. I hope that when you are older I can repay back half or all of the love you have given me.” – Izzy from Paya Lebar Methodist Girls’ School (Secondary)

Now that the children have spoken, how would you, as a father, express your unconditional love and acceptance towards your children? Share your thoughts in our forum!

 

Submit your own dad story here and we will do our best to publish it.

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About the Author: The DadsforLife Resource Team comprises local content writers and experts, including psychologists, counsellors, educators and social service professionals, dedicated to developing useful resources for dads.

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