On Raising a Family in Singapore

Bernie Trudel is a marathoner, triathlete and Head of Data Centre Technologies at CISCO Singapore. He is also the father of a six-year-old girl and a four-year-old boy.

" 10 years ago, I'd lived in Singapore for about six months and thought of it as a great place for families. After becoming a dad, I applied for an international transfer within CISCO to move here again,” said Bernie.

He added, “Initially, my wife who is an American-born Chinese found it harder to adjust as she is very close to her siblings in the US and misses them a lot. However, we appreciate the safety here, the variety of activities available, and that the Singapore-American School which my children attend is very well-equipped. We decided to persevere."

A Conscious Decision to be a Dad

Bernie's work demands are challenging, yet he has managed to provide his children with a generous dose of fatherhood.

"When my wife and I made the conscious decision to have children, we also made the conscious decision to fully provide the parenting,” he said.

“I've noticed that in the local culture, it seems the norm for grandparents or maids to become the children's Mums and Dads. We do have a maid but we chose one who isn't very good with kids so that they would not be more drawn to her than to us," said Bernie.

Carving Out Time

On how he manages to carve out a thick chunk of time for his family, Bernie shares,
"After having worked in CISCO for 14 years, I've learned to pick my battles - choose to work on projects that have the highest impact for the company. It's also important to plan in advance. I leave the office at 5pm each day so we can have a family dinner at home,” said Bernie.

“By 6:30pm, the kids would have been tucked into bed. Once they are asleep, I could resume working again. In the mornings, we'll have a family breakfast before putting the kids on the school bus. Then I'll  leave for the office,” he said.

Weekend Activities

“My son is the sort who's contented to stay in his room all day with some Lego blocks, so on weekends I make it a point to take the family out for physical activities. The good thing about Singapore is that there are swimming pools just about everywhere,” said Bernie.

“I've had to give up some of my own physical activity. I enjoy competing in long-distance sports such as marathons and triathlons but I don't have time for that anymore. I'll still take part but not competitively. I hope to get back into it when the kids have grown, " he shared.

Bernie is one Dad who truly enjoys the fathering experience. Of a recent trip to the Science Centre, he said, "Although I've seen these exhibits before, I enjoyed experiencing these with my kids, journeying with them as they learn. I find that when I'm with them, I'm constantly checking myself to make sure I'm moulding them in specific ways."

Just then, Bernie's son interrupted to persuade Daddy to help assemble a craft aeroplane. I offered my expertise but the little tyke insisted on Daddy's expertise.

 

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About the Author: The DadsforLife Resource Team comprises local content writers and experts, including psychologists, counsellors, educators and social service professionals, dedicated to developing useful resources for dads.

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