Editor's Note: "Dads for Life would like to congratulate Zachary Ryan for coming 6^th in the 2010 Singapore Youth Olympic Games Boys’ 1000m B Final."

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Many may find Ryan Zachary’s face familiar, as he graces the Singapore Youth Olympic Games (SYOG) campaign outdoor advertising, but Ryan recognises that it was support from Dad, Simon Deveraj, that gave him the determination to get to where he is now.

DadsforLife: Hi Ryan! So tell us the beginning – how did you get involved in athletics?

Ryan: When I was in Primary Four I went for my school trials and got selected. After I went for a few training sessions I found that I liked it. Most of the people in track (and field) sometimes went once out of three training sessions (but) I went for all. My pet events are the 800m and 1500m.

DadsforLife: How has your father figured in your athletic career thus far?

Ryan: He always fetches me to and from training; he buys me isotonic drinks; he always comes down for my races and supports me; he taught me to be calm before a race; and when I was in Primary Six, he coached me for a year.

DadsforLife: Thank you very much Ryan! Turning our attention to your father right now – tell us Simon, what inspired you to support Ryan the way you have, especially in a place like Singapore where studies trumps sports almost all the time?

Simon: Firstly, I love sports myself. Everybody likes to do sports, but (Ryan) is not just anybody. When he performed so well on the track in Primary Four, it made me realise that he had a God-given talent. Sure he could have done better in school, but it is a compromise, it is a sacrifice. You see, anyone can get an education, but who can run like him?

I remember buying him a gold coin in Primary Four that said ‘Olympic Runner’. So from then onwards, I knew that for him, the ultimate goal would be to run in the Olympics. I do believe that any father who has a son like him would do the same or even more.

DadsforLife: Oh, you have to give yourself a bit more credit there Simon! Share with us, what do you think is your role as a father to Ryan?

Simon: I do realise that I am not a professional coach, so I leave the coaching to the coaches. What I can do is to be available for him to consult and get feedback.

Sometimes I am also the bridge to the coach, giving them feedback on his physical condition and discussing various courses of action. I also read up a lot on track and field, so that I can relate (better) with the coaching staff.

DadsforLife: What challenges did you face in supporting Ryan and how did you overcome them?

Simon: Well, a lot of my time is taken up taking him to and from training. Whenever I have to be in two places at one time, I put Ryan’s needs before mine. My own rest and personal time is affected too.

Having four children, I also have to ensure they all get equal treatment. Our whole family’s schedule is largely orientated around Ryan’s training needs, so I think the children sacrifice as well. For example, we seldom go for holidays in June because that is the time he needs to train.

Everything is managed around his calendar. So sometimes it might appear that there is a bit of favouritism. It does bring tension to the family at times, so I have to discuss periodically with my wife if we may be going overboard in some instances.

We then make it a point that whenever someone is complaining, we look at the complaint and try to ensure that he or she is taken care of in a different way.

DadsforLife: In 2009, Ryan was suspected of being down with H1N1 and was not allowed to participate in the Asian Youth Games (AYG) even though he qualified for the event. Tell us more about it.

Simon: Well, when we were finally cleared to leave the hotel after his quarantine, I knew we probably were not going to make it, but my son needed to know that we were doing everything possible for him to run the race. We reached the stadium only to see that his event was over. It was devastating…

There was a deep impact on him. Upon coming home (from the AYG), he could not sleep at night and his interest in studies was gone. We had to spend time talking to him, going through it as a family… I contacted my pastor to counsel him, and also told many people within our church and they all prayed for him. We needed some spiritual help.

We also needed secular help, so I made sure his teachers were aware of the situation. We wanted to ensure that we (uncovered) the things he kept deep inside, or certain hurts that may not have been dealt with…

I (also) realised that the best thing for him was to take a break, so for six weeks he stopped training. I bought tennis rackets to get him to do something else beside track and field. His coaches wanted him to run, but I said no.

Still, he would sneak out to run (laughter). I think in his mind, he was thinking of the YOG.

Ryan: After I came back (from AYG), I was quite unhappy… I was sick of running for a while. After my dad made me take a break, I felt more refreshed, so I could start again.

People kept on telling me not to quit or get angry, and that I should aim for the YOG. So if I trained as hard for YOG and I got to run, it would be all worth it, (hence) I channelled all the bad emotions into training harder for YOG.

Simon: As a father, I did not want my son to think that I did not do anything about the matter at the AYG. Therefore, I had a meeting with all the key personnel involved, and concluded that there were good intentions, but it was truly an unfortunate incident.

And in the spirit of sportsmanship, I wanted to let go. I did not want to blame anyone for it. When I came back, I spoke to Ryan and told him I did everything I could, so he would know that I did not leave the matter unpursued.

DadsforLife: What are you looking forward to at the YOG?

Ryan: I had lunch with 800m world record holder (Wilson Kipketer, from Denmark) Wow! I look forward to learning from other great Olympians, to improve my knowledge and to gain more confidence in my passion (running). I also want to achieve a personal best in my event, the 1000m!

Simon: After our experience at the AYG last year, I look forward to simply seeing my son competing with the world's best. I hope he picks up good values from the various activities in the YOG village, and through making friends with other athletes. I want him to mature and have fun!

DadsforLife: Any final comments for fathers out there?

Ryan: I think all fathers should support their children in sports, music, or any co-curricular activities they might want to do, and not just have a one track mind, focused on school and studies and becoming a doctor or a lawyer.

Simon: Try to spend more time with the children, whether as toddlers or teenagers. Every age is a different experience. We must get into the kids’ programme, not ask them to join us. You have to start with the child, not tell them what to do. When parents start doing their part, children will know how to be children to us.

Of course, during the teenage period, everything will be haywire (laughter from Ryan)... There is no diploma or degree in fathering. I too surf websites, learn from other fathers, talk to other fathers; you must learn fathering, learn from others. We will always make mistakes, but have faith in your fathering.

 

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About the Author: The DadsforLife Resource Team comprises local content writers and experts, including psychologists, counsellors, educators and social service professionals, dedicated to developing useful resources for dads.

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