Tan Pek is a homemaker, aged 84, who sees her greatest accomplishment as having brought up 10 children and helping to take care of many of her 28 grandchildren. She loves cooking and her specialties are popiah, mee siam and ayam buah keluak.

 

To my more than 40 grandchildren and great grandchildren,

I was born in China and your Gong Gong (your grandfather) was born in Sumatra, many, many years ago. We came from a different era, when life was in some ways more difficult, but perhaps also less complicated. During the Japanese Occupation, food was scarce, and our diet consisted mainly of tapioca. I had to think of interesting ways of serving tapioca. I used tapioca flour to make noodles, cakes and other food items that were not normally made from tapioca. Such were the constraints we faced then. And yet, the food was still good. Cooking, after all, is not about being able to follow the recipe rigidly, but about making the food taste good.

Similarly, the measure of life is not based on where you came from, but on what you do with your life. So I am writing this letter to leave you with some advice that I hope will help you lead a meaningful and positive life.

These are some of my observations and thoughts:

1. It is of great importance that you take care of your health. Eat well, sleep well and play well. Studying and working is demanding on your body and soul, so you need to make sure you follow a healthy diet, exercise and rest regime. For example, you should take regular meals.

2. It is also important to be obedient to your parents as they always know what is best for you. Be filial to your parents and look after them well when they grow old. They have sacrificed much for you.  But above all, make sure you set aside time for your family members. There is a Chinese proverb that says “blood is thicker than water”. So in your moments of need, you know that you can count on your family, just as they know they can count on you in theirs.

3. The greatest joy for a grandparent is to see his or her children, grandchildren and even great grandchildren grow up well and able to look after themselves and their families. An infant starts life being looked after by its parents. But when the infant becomes an adult and a parent, the circle of life is completed, and it is the child who cares for his or her elderly parents and grandparents.

4. There is a Hokkien phrase “wu tau, wu bei” [meaning having both head and tail] that sums up a very important philosophy in life: once you start something, make sure you put your whole heart into it and ensure that it ends well. You often only get one chance to do something. Make sure that it counts.

I hope you will always bear these points in mind. With these basic principles in life, I am sure you will grow up to be a good person, parent, and eventually, a wonderful grandparent.

Yours with love,

“Mama”

[This letter was transcribed from Hokkien by Tan Pek’s granddaughter, Pamela Chia.]

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This letter is republished with permission from the National Library Board. Letters From Grandma and Grandpa (2008) is an initiative to create opportunities for youth and seniors to strengthen ties, enhance understanding and appreciate each other. Singapore grandpas and grandmas share their stories from the past, their hopes for the future, their love from their hearts, and their values for the soul. The letters capture their thoughts and feelings on important values, such as family and heritage, respect for the elders, generosity, love, courage and responsibility.

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Also see:

1. Letters from Grandma and Grandpa Webpage

2. Letters to Grandma and Grandpa Press Release

3. Letters to Grandma and Grandpa Webpage

 

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