"Don't carry her, let her cry for 10 minutes first! Remember the books we read. This wil lhelp her learn how to settle down sleeping herself!" I raised my voice at my wife as she approached our 3-month old baby.

"My baby boy is sleeping by himself in his own room by nine month". I thought, "What an amazing boy" as my friend shared this with me. "Maybe I should train my daughter to sleep by herself in her own room too". 

My daughter, Shauna, is now 14 months. I remembered when my wife broke the news that she was expecting to me, I was in the US on a working trip. I was so excited that I wanted to fly home straight away. During that trip, I also bought several books about pregnancy and babies. I was (still am) determined to be a good dad. 

I learnt many things from books. I also listened to many real life experiences from friends who were parents too. I was particularly interested to learn about how to instill discipline and train my baby to be independent. Needless to say, when Shauna was born, I tried all that I have on her, though met with resistance from my parents and in-laws. My thought was, "Well, grandparents are there to spoil grandchildren". So I didn’t listen much to them. 

Then one day, when I was on church-duty (my wife and I served in the children ministry of our church), I had a chat with another server (she is a grandmother of one already). I shared with her some experiences of how I was teaching my child to be independent and applying all that I have read so far. Then she shared with me something – something which changed how I teach and care for my daughter today. 

I remembered specifically that she told me, "Carry your daughter when she wants you to. Hold her hands when you are out with her. Have her sleep near to you for as long as she wants. Do all these when you still can. Because very soon, before you realize it, she will have already grown so much that you can’t carry her anymore; that she may not want you to hold her hands when you are out with her; and that you can’t have her sleep beside you anymore. So, you don’t have to rush training her to do this or to do that. There will be a time for all these." 

Throughout that day, I thought about what she said. I reflected on my own experiences and also shared with my wife. I realized what my church-mate had said is so true. Very soon, Shauna will grow up and there would be so many things I can't do with her anymore. And I certainly do not want to look back in time, only to regret then. Today, my mindset changed. Instilling discipline and training to be independent though important are no longer the priority compared to quality father and daughter time. I also know, regardless how much Shauna has grown, my love for her will never change. The joy of being there for her will never change too. 

I thank God for blessing me with a wonderful child. I also thank God for blessing me with a fantastic fellow server for that sharing session. 

So my friends, if you go home today and your child wants you to carry him/her, do so, regardless how tired you are. If your child wants you to sleep with you, let him/her do so tonight. Do all these when we as parents still can. Enjoy being there for them.