From Delivery Room to Home

Picture this: You get home from the hospital, exhausted, dirty, smelly, overwhelmed, and excited after the arrival of your newborn. And that's just you; now imagine how your wife and your baby feel. Welcome to fatherhood, where you've made it through the excitement of labor and delivery, and now you're ready to head home and begin life when suddenly, it dawns upon you that you have no idea where to start!

Rookie Dads often find themselves bewildered in the first few months even though they have diligently read through all the manuals that come along with a newborn. Nothing in the books translates quite accurately how sleep-deprivation can bring the strongest man to his knees in extreme fatigue and tears.

Like all things great and noble in life, making space for a newborn in your marriage may be tough but the trick is to have long term perspective with a strong focus on the positive. You’d soon find yourself falling deeply in love with your baby’s breath, milky scent and all.

Research has shown that babies who have constant touch and attentive care in the first few days of birth, thrive well emotionally, cognitively and physically. They develop healthy emotional attachment to their parents and stay secure in their growing up years. It is also the time in which parents make deep connection with their infant and begin the strong instinct to nurture and protect.

Baby Steps for Dad

Rookie Dads may feel nervous around a newborn. Or you may be afraid to touch your baby because you have never done it before. Below are some baby steps to get beyond the uneasiness and can help first-time dads feel confident about caring for a newborn in no time.

1) Baby blues- You probably think your baby is going to be like those perfect little angels in diaper commercials that never fret and always have perfect smiles. Soon you’ll find your baby crying at a time that you didn't even know existed. Continue to assist your wife as she nurses or feeds the baby.

You can help her by bringing to her the items she needs, or reassure her that she is doing well, or at least let her know that you know she is trying her best, even if the baby frets. Help diaper and soothe until the calm arrives.

2) Interact with your baby - Babies may seem fragile, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't hold, tickle, cuddle or take your baby out with you. The stimulation is great for them, it helps build a bond with your child. .

3) Sick Baby? Yes, your baby will get sick and that projectile vomiting may look menacing but that doesn't mean regurgitated milk is worth rushing to the emergency room over. Learn to observe the baby with objective markers- if you sense extreme distress in the baby when soothing techniques do not help; then maybe it’s time to seek professional care.

4) Talk to other fathers – Guys tend not to bond over small talks and support group but sharing the joys (and tribulations) of a new baby with fellow dads certainly helps ease the stress and fears of unknown ground and provide a great sense of camaraderie.

5) Make time for your wife - It is easy sometimes to concentrate on the baby so much that your wife may feel left out. She needs your support more than ever. Helping out is a great way to support her. The only thing you can't do is breastfeed, so you can help in every other way. Help around the house, do the little meaningful things that make for great relationships, and make sure she has her own time as well.

6) Self-Care- Remember that you have to function too, hence your health and well being are important as well. Give yourself the occasional break to hang out with friends. Your focus should certainly be on your new family but you too need to recharge for the next call of duty.

7) Work life Balance -There will be painful compromises if you do not aim to have this balance now. Having a baby in the home means readjustment in your work schedule, it’s crucial that you crunch down on time-wasters and be more productive in keeping your work week shorter and effective.

Dads who participate as fully as they can in the births of their babies and who continue to share the responsibilities of home and children, find the rewards are great. Their lives take on a new dimension; their marriages are strengthened and become more meaningful; and above all, there’s a sense of accomplishment that only a baby can give!