A teenager shares with The Dads for Life Resource Team about her foster dad, how he and the family helped her to feel at home, and what’s life like for her with them.

“…What made me realise they were my family though, were not the jokes and the chatting, but the fact that they were there for me whenever I went through tough times in school or just with life in general. It was the kind of support you knew you could always rely and count on your family for. That was when I realised I was home.”

1. Hi, let us know a bit about you!

I like reading, playing badminton, watching television, studying and helping my foster mum cook. I recently took up badminton. What’s my all-time favourite activity? Eating! And, what’s on my “food-of-the-moment” list? French fries, potato chips, sour candies, fried chicken and mouth watering ice-cream.

For now, I want to concentrate on my studies and getting into a good stream at school. Eventually, I wish to go to Venice, Egypt and Mecca. My favourite subjects are Malay, Biography, Home Economics and Art.

2.    What can you share with us about your foster dad?

My foster dad looks a little ancient as he has a moustache and hair that is black and white. He has rather small facial features and tanned skin as his hobby is fishing.
Every Sunday, when he goes to the market with my foster mum, he loves to wear his Adidas shirt and khakis. He goes to work wearing a shirt or a Tee with jeans.
He has a passion for fishing. He also loves going for fishing competitions overseas. He always gets good catches.

We love watching Discovery Channel and movies on the television together. It widens my horizon and helps me understand my foster dad’s passion. Movies that we love watching usually belong to the mystery and crime genre. Sometimes we would watch a fishing show together and he would fall asleep. I tease him a lot about that because there would be no one to explain the show to me if I didn’t understand it!

My foster dad also helps me with homework, especially Math. Unfortunately it’s harder for him to do that now because of his schedule and the fact that my Math homework is getting more difficult.

3.   What was your first impression when you met your foster parents, especially your foster dad?

I felt really welcomed by the whole family. My foster father had just returned home from work that day and greeted me with a warm smile, but that’s pretty much all I remember, since it was a long time ago.

What I remember most about that time though, was that when I came, it was a few weeks before his birthday and my foster parents went out of their way to make me feel accepted, loved, and part of the family. That really touched me and made me glad.

4.       How did your foster dad help you feel welcomed to the family?

He never ignored me, no matter how tired he was. He always let me know that I could approach him for anything no matter how tired he was, and that I am important. He also made it a point to ask me about my day and how school was.

If I did anything wrong, he would explain things to me nicely and give me time to think about what I should have done instead. He never raised his voice at me. This made me feel loved because he treated me like everybody else - just like the way he treated his own daughters.

He was equal and fair in everything he did, treating me like his own, which I appreciated so much.

5.       How did you get to know your foster family and begin to feel at home?

Getting to know them was not difficult at all as it started with a little chat and a joke. They immediately made me feel welcomed, accepted, and at home. Furthermore, they were very friendly and easy to get along with.

What made me realise they were my family though, were not the jokes and the chatting. But the fact that they were there for me whenever I went through tough times in school or just with life in general. It was the kind of support you knew you could always rely and count on your family for. That was when I realised I was home.

The process of adapting to the family was pretty easy as we got along well. I didn’t really meet any difficulties getting to know them. We didn’t know each other as well in the beginning since we were new to each other, but our bond formed and grew as time went on. They would take me out on movie trips or to the beach, just so we could spend time together and know each other better.

When it comes to movies, we always decide together what to watch as a family. We would take turns giving in to each other, deciding on what each family member wants to watch. This definitely made me feel like a part of the family.

7.    What character traits do you appreciate most about your foster dad?

I appreciate the patience he shows in giving me guidance. When it comes to things I have trouble understanding, he is always patient and tries his best to explain it to me, even if it means repeating it. I like the fact that he is gentle but strict, never resorting to raising his voice to get a message across. He is also always supportive no matter what.

To me he is the best dad ever as he is always goofing around, making me laugh.

8.     What is the most memorable thing that your foster dad has done for you?

It isn’t something huge that my foster father did which made it memorable, but I remember making my foster mother angry once and she was really upset with me. That was when my foster father came to me, talked to me in a gentle fatherly tone, which made me realise my mistake. I felt really touched and that’s why it was a memorable moment.

About the Author: A teenager who lives with her foster family under The Fostering Scheme administered by The Ministry of Community Development, Youth and Sports.